


The itch in my chest and the hitch in my breath

by PoemAboutCitylights



Category: formula 1 - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Monaco GP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 15:37:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11016399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemAboutCitylights/pseuds/PoemAboutCitylights
Summary: Lewis' bad qualifying session makes Nico change his mind.





	The itch in my chest and the hitch in my breath

Nico was watching the Qualifying by the swimming pool, surrounded by several media people and some friends he had made along his career and even though he had been aware that Mercedes would have a hard time with the Ferraris after the performance they had shown in the trainings, he had not been prepared for what happened in Q2.  
At first, he was still relatively positive since he was sure that Lewis would make it eventually- if there was anyone who knew what the Mercedes driver was capable of, it was him, after all.  
When his former teammate started to struggle visibly, he grew slightly nervous but Lewis was the genius, though, so it was only when the little flag behind Lewis' name appeared that he fully understood what this meant.  
It was then that Nico felt his heartbeat fasten and adrenaline rushing through his veins, the feeling of not being able to do anything overwhelmingly unnerving and quite shocking that the triumph he had felt during the last years, whenever his teammate had a bad day, was replaced by a wave of sympathy which held the potential to pull him in deeper.  
"I'm sorry, I-...", he stuttered and couldn't help but ignore all the important people around him whose face he had seen several times but couldn't remember their names.

A few minutes later, Nico found himself in the Mercedes motorhome, making his way through Valtteri's garage.  
No one was stopping him, the mechanics probably thought that he was invited by Toto or something.  
They didn't know that Nico had promised himself not to get too close, too close to the drug that was racing nor too close to the most devious addiction of all; the one with a beating heart and steady breathing.  
"Nico!", Toto greeted him, his disappointment being replaced by a surprised grin, "we didn't expect you to come here. It's great to see you!"  
"Same goes for you, Toto", he took a deep breath, "where... Where is he?"  
Toto, of course, knew exactly whom he was talking about.  
Had always.  
He sighed, too deeply for Nico's taste, and pointed at a door next to several monitors, showing data which seemed so unimportant now and was everything back then.  
Oh, how the priorities had shifted...  
Nico opened his mouth, wanted to reply something, anything, but there really wasn't any logical explanation for why he was showing up again, except the desperate itch in his chest, the hitch in his breath and the fact that he couldn't even look at his trophy back at home, the trophy he had dreamed of as long as he could remember, without thinking of the things he had lost instead of those he'd won.  
And Toto had been right; when Nico opened the door, he found Lewis sitting on a bench, his head between his knees with his racing suit hanging low on his hips and the white fireproofs contrasting with brown skin.  
His former teammate didn't even make the effort to look up, instead he just shook his head and mumbled a quick "May I have some time for myself?".  
When Nico didn't know what to do now, with everything he had ever wanted right in front of him and still million miles away, Lewis added a low "please" and kicked a water bottle lying in front of him, "leave me alone."  
Nico knew a chance when he saw one so he said "You don't know what you're doing" and closed the door behind him.  
Lewis' head snapped up and his eyes widened when he spotted his former teammate: "I told Toto that I didn't want to see you this weekend."  
Nico ignored the itch in his chest: "He didn't really have a say in this, even though I planned not to come by."  
"Then why are you here?", Lewis voice was cold and steady but Nico had spent enough time with the Brit to know how to read him.  
He didn't miss Lewis' slightly trembling fingers or the way his whole body tensed.  
"I'm sorry for what happened today. You would have deserved to break your idol's record."  
"Don't you fucking say you're sorry for me, Nico. I don't need your sympathy."  
"Yeah, I know. I just... I needed to see you."  
"Good for you, now go. You're not with the big boys any longer."  
"I'm aware, Lewis."  
"Don't you get it, Nico? You don't belong here anymore. You're not wanted. Let me do my work."  
The words hurt, more than he would ever be ready to admit. Nico had known that he would probably regret coming here, he hadn't seen Lewis in months, after all, but he simply couldn't live like this any longer.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come!"  
The closed door behind his back made him feel like he was trapped in this too small room with Lewis, trapped with an angry lion, ready to tear him apart and rip out his insides.  
"I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY, NICO!", Lewis' voice echoed in the small room, making the German shiver. He closed his eyes and turned around, ready to leave, all of this, all of the things he had wanted to say.  
It was when his hand was already on the door handle that he took a deep breath and whispered: "What do you need from me, then, Lewis?"  
He could hear that the Brit was taken aback by that question when he caught his breath and Nico slowly turned around again.  
The Mercedes driver opened and closed his mouth several times and eventually answered: "I would have needed you to be there."  
"When?", he asked.  
"Always."  
Nico couldn't help letting out a small laugh.  
"What?!"  
"I don't know... Nothing matters anymore, right?"  
"Wh-..."  
Nico ignored the confused look on Lewis' face and closed the gap between them, capturing the soft and delicious looking lips of his former teammate, his best friend, with his own.  
God, he long he had fantasized about just that.  
But nothing could have prepared him for the feeling in his stomach when he felt Lewis' suddenly going all soft against him, almost collapsing in his arms, sighing against his lips.  
"Just for the record; I still don't like you", Lewis said when they had to break apart due to a serious lack of air.  
"I'm afraid your position isn't really solid."  
"God, Nico", Lewis rested a shaky hand on the German's hips and shook his head unbelievingly, "I had no idea."  
"It would have been so much easier if we had been just... open about it?"  
"I thought you'd hate me forever."  
"I thought I'd lose you. I was willing to accept everything you were able to offer but since things started to get bad between us... I can't go on like that."  
"How long...?", Lewis asked and pulled Nico to sit down with him.  
Their gazes met and Nico could feel heat creeping up his neck and a blush spreading across his cheeks: "Too long."  
"You're an idiot. You could have just told me."  
"So could you."  
"No", Lewis smirked, "you were always the smart one."  
"And you're the best driver on the grid. You're going to win this year."  
Lewis sighed: "Nothing's safe these days."  
"Well... Do you wanna see my trophy? It's bigger than you'd think."  
Lewis blushed heavily and Nico couldn't help thinking of it as adorable.  
"It was mine not so long ago, you know."  
"The view from my balcony is quite nice, too."  
"The view from mine is greater, I assure you."  
"Is this an invitation?"  
Nico took Lewis crashing their lips together again for a yes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thiiiis is it.  
> Please leave a comment to tell me what you think :)  
> (It's really trashy and a little over the top but I'm always here for this haha)


End file.
